Friday, January 14, 2011

How to Control "Vulnerability" !! Here's an interesting article for all of you!!

Emotional Vulnerability: Its Causes and Cure
I wrote a couple of weeks ago about my wife’s traveling with another guy, and the reaction of a conventional friend who asked, “Are you OK with that?” At the time, it didn’t occur to me that she might be talking about jealousy, but then a few days ago, a much less conventional friend—in some ways—made the subject clear: “Don’t you have the least bit of jealousy?” I was so surprised by the question that I couldn’t think quite what to say, but a simple “No,” left her still looking quizzical. I wasn’t at a loss for words, thanks to a cup of espresso, but I don’t think I covered the issue very well.
In thinking about it later, I remembered that Eve, my wife, had asked me the same question, and when I answered, “No,” she said, “Damn! That’s too bad.” I think she was joking, but at any rate, we have talked about our relationship so much that I didn’t have to go into detail—she believed me. So why aren’t I jealous?
My first serious encounter with jealousy, which I’ve written about in the Journal, was in the seventh grade, and thanks to some fortuitous preparation by life, I came out of it pretty well. I realized that there’s no controlling someone else’s preferences, and if I care about their happiness, I’ll want them to get what they want, even if it’s not me. Any other reaction is selfish and unreasonable. I still had emotional reactions when I saw my desired girlfriend with someone else, but each time those arose, I went through the reasoning process again, and those reactions got less and less severe, until they became momentary.
Jealousy, anger, love, lust, and all the rest of our emotions, evolved because they conveyed some survival advantage to the genes of the animals that had them. Lions and tigers have emotions, too, but don’t seem to think about them very much, while the complexity of the human cognitive apparatus allows us to consider their origins and their effectiveness or appropriateness.
Our DNA provides the machinery of emotions, but with humans, culture complicates the situation. The cues for lust vary considerably from culture to culture, and the same is true for other emotions.
The more aware we are of how our emotions can be deliberately manipulated, the better we can become at monitoring and evaluating attempts at control. For example, I don’t expose myself to sexual stimuli unless the calendar says it’s time for prostate exercise, although the occasional innocent-looking email will slip up on me.
Most thinking adults would agree that monitoring media input is advised, given the general motivation of advertisers, politicians, and circulation editors, but when the subject becomes love and relationships, thinking often becomes much less critical. Tricycle magazine has a section on relationships, and the Summer, 2008, article by Barry Magid illustrates how much is taken for granted in this area.
Magid jumps from the interdependence and connectedness of everything—good science and good Buddhism—to the vulnerability we expose ourselves to in our relationships with others who are, basically, uncontrollable and unreliable. He discusses two strategies for dealing with this vulnerability—control and autonomy—and disallows both as ineffective: attempts at control create more anxiety than they prevent, and autonomy requires “repression or dissociation, a denial of feeling.”
My attempts at controlling other people have assuredly met with failure, but I think Magid’s dismissal of autonomy is premature. There’s an old Zen saying, “A patch-robed monk has nothing to cling to,” and while this sounds bleak at first reading, perhaps, it is in fact the lot of all creatures: security is always temporary, and loss and death are certain. “Life,” as the Buddha may have said, “is suffering,” either in the present moment or in anticipation. But there is a way to end suffering—and vulnerability—and all it takes is the ending of delusion: learning to accept life as it is, not life as fantasized.
The centuries-old charnel-ground meditation, in which we contemplate the rotting of our bodies, offers a way to familiarize us with the idea of death and its consequences. If we reflect on the science of emotions—biological and cultural—we can develop a similar familiarity with our conditioned responses that undermines identifying with them as “ours:” emotions are no more personal than the functioning of the liver or the heart.
Everything that we are—physical, emotional, intellectual—is the result of prior biological and social conditions. To identify with any of it as a possession of the self, or to take the responses of other people as under their control and a reflection of our value, is the result of not understanding the human condition.

Fitness Solutions [ an article posted From Art of Living ]

Greater responsibilities and ambitions you have, greater is the need for you to meditate

Q. Why should people meditate in our modern society?
Sri Sri: 
If you look at the benefits that meditation brings in our life, you will find that it is all the more relevant. In ancient times, meditation was used as a way for finding the Self, for enlightenment. Meditation was a way to overcome misery and problems. It's the way to develop one’s abilities.
If you want, keep aside enlightenment. Today’s  stress and tension in society calls for meditation. If you take more responsibility, more meditation is required. Greater responsibilities and ambitions you have, greater is the need for you to meditate. If you have nothing to do, you may not need meditation as much.
The busier you are, the lesser time you have, the more desires and ambitions you have - all the more is the need to meditate. Because meditation not only relieves you of stress and strain, it also enhances your abilities,strengthens your nervous system and mind. Not only does it help eliminate stress and tensions, releasing toxins from the body and soothing the mind, it also makes you more capable, enhances you in every way. What else do you want?
I would say if you want to be happy and healthy, you’ve got to meditate.

Q: How does the Art of meditation help the mind, the body, spiritual aspirations and relationships and society as a whole?
Sri Sri: Meditation helps tochange your perspective. It improves the way you perceive things. It brings clarity in the mind. It improves your interaction with people around –what you say, how you react and act in different situations, you become more aware. In general, from a stress-free society to peace and health in individuals and from a violence-free society to a sorrow-free soul – all are side effects of meditation.

 Q: What makes this form of meditation(Sahaj Samadhi) so unique?
Sri Sri: It is very simple and profound. Usually the common notion is that what is profound must be complicated and what is simple is not effective. But Sahaj Samadhi Meditation is a very rare combination of simplicity, profoundness and depth.

Q: Can you speak on the value of the Vedic tradition of Masters who have kept this knowledge alive for thousands of years?
Sri Sri: From thousands of years people have passed this technical knowledge. Usually, most Masters will test a student before even teaching meditation. They would give this knowledge only to someone who qualifies. They would wait for the right student to come to impart this knowledge. In the past, it used to be very tough, you had to please the Master before you could get anything from Him.
I took a very different stance, I opened the flood gates, gave it to everyone, let everybody progress as per one’s sincerity and capability.
Friends,I hope this article has answered few of your questions about meditation and how to relate it with Fitness[any kind of questions are welcome].Success is nothing more than an outcome of proper health and fitness.Have a good day!!